Jake's Tips of the Week
- Walk away from any kind of verbal altercation with any kind of badger or badger-like animal.
- If you remove the padding from a tambourine, it still makes noise.
- Whenever you're debating a topic such as capital punishment, don't use puns.
- Oreo's are not symbolic of racism.
- Don't smoke cigarettes around ant hills.
- When eating chips and salsa, make sure to put the salsa in your hand first to get the optimal amount of salsa on each chip.
- You can use a tent as a blanket if you don't know how to put it up.
- If you want to decorate your apartment or home but don't have pictures, you can put stock photos in picture frames and lie about what they're from.
- If you go up to a house on Halloween and they dare put candy corn in your bag, ask for razor blades instead.